Who Needs a Plus-One and Who Doesn’t?
Wedding planning is an extremely difficult journey and what’s even more difficult is deciding on your guest list. Preparing the perfect guest list can be really tricky. You suddenly have to run your mind through all the people you know and who are close enough with you to celebrate the big day. When you pen them down in your organizer, the real challenge appears. When the people who were on your mind appear on the paper the list gets endless and with it crops up another dilemma of the plus ones. Some of your guests will obviously expect a plus one to be invited along with them while some others won’t bother. More than who’s expecting it, is you who will have to decide and plan who actually needs to be invited and who may not be needing a plus one. But how do you go about doing that?
As a bride or a groom, you would certainly not want your guests to be upset about not being able to bring someone along with them. At the same time, you will have to be realistic and stay within your budget and expense limits. With every extra person, there is an increase in the count that increases the plate counts and ups your wedding expense a little more. So, you have to be extremely careful about who you are inviting. Make sure that in an attempt to please someone who is not very close to you, you are not missing out on people who really matter. To make it easier for you, here’s a basic plus one etiquette guide to be followed while preparing a wedding guest list.
Who Should Get a Plus-One Invite?
To begin with, let’s start with the rule on people who should be sent a wedding plus-one invite. Let’s have a closer look.
Guests who are living with someone, are engaged or married-
These are the first kind of people who should be sending out plus one invites to, irrespective of their spouses’ closeness with you or your would-be spouse. You would have to acknowledge your guests’ commitment to each other whether they have tied the knots yet or not. If they are staying together and not married yet, they are still into a close-knit commitment and/or a relationship and they would expect an invite for their partners too. Not inviting someone’s fiancé, husband/wife can get really upsetting for your guests and make sure you are thoughtful enough to extend invites to your guests’ partners. Do put in a name of their significant other in the invite. It looks personalized and also ensures they do not bring anyone else in lieu of their partners.
Members of your wedding party-
Your groomsmen and bridesmaids are the ones who should be getting special VIP treatment on your big day. They have been there right from the word go in supporting and planning for the big day and they will be around handling everything till the last guest leaves. They must be rewarded for all the hard work and effort they have put in. And allowing them to bring someone along of their choice is one of the best ways of doing that. If they have someone they are dating, ask them to feel free to bring them along and if they are still single let them not feel the pressure of bringing a date. Just let them know that if they have someone in their minds they can bring them along.
Someone who is a special guest but does not know anyone else-
There might be guests who may be very close to you, but may not know any other invitees. He/she may be a long-distance friend who is special to you and needs to be there. You certainly would not want this friend of yours to be all alone and left out. For such guests consider letting them bring a date along of their choice. Let such special people witness your wedding from close quarters and have some fond memories of their long-distance friend’s big day.
That covers the people who should get a plus-one invite. Now let’s find out who should not get a plus one.
Who Should Not Get a Plus-One?
Now that you know which people are to be invited as plus-ones, it should be rather clear on who should not be getting plus one invites. Let us quickly list the exclusions as well.
Coworkers-
There are no points for guessing this. You are under no obligation to invite your coworkers to your wedding. But nowadays we tend to get more close to our coworkers and the boundaries of coworkers being close friends are constantly getting blurred. Nevertheless, that may not be the case always. Invite a coworker if they are close to you but don’t bother about the plus one. If, however a coworker is a close friend and you know his/her fiancé or spouse too you cannot leave them out. This is a grey area for you to figure out.
Guests or friends who are merely dating someone-
Don’t feel obliged to invite everyone your guests are dating. This rule applies to everyone starting from family, close relatives to friends. Unless you know that they are in a committed relationship with someone there is absolutely no need to invite someone.
Single guests not too familiar with other guests-
Just because someone you invited is not too familiar with everyone, you cannot allow a plus one. Invite them and make sure they are around somewhat familiar faces and people and that should be good enough. If they get along well with the other wedding guests during the event, that will be worth their time attending. Even if they don’t, they still get to enjoy good food, some nice music, complimentary drinks, and everything else for free. And that should suffice for the night.
In Conclusion
Preparing wedding guest lists and sending out invites and escort cards is a huge task which involves a lot of brain racking efforts. Make sure you are following these basic etiquette’s of sending out plus-one invites and you will not miss a name.
Having said that, be realistic with the numbers, keep a watch on who all are attending and make sure every person who witnesses your big day gets to experience something they will cherish forever.
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